Wow, it’s been more than three weeks since the first part on my Bali trip last month was published!

But anyway, I guess it’s good to refresh my memory on Bali too! So, here we go, part 2!

After the relatively uneventful first day (really, because it was only dinner and sleep!), we started off our second day with a really ‘special’ traditional performance called the ‘barong and keris dance’.

Why I call it ‘special’, I’ll explain later.

Basically, this dance revolves around a mythical story with, you know, kings and gods and demons and their conflicts and stuff.

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There was also a ‘talking monkey’ which did not contribute much to the storyline (to me) but was one of the major characters that had appeared since the beginning of the show.

The funny thing is this:

In the end, in a seriously desperate attempt on humor (I think), they staged a scene where, for no good reason, the monkey lied down on the floor and a group of actors surrounded the poor animal and started hitting its penis!

… And they (the actors) were laughing loudly as they hit the shaft of the penis repeatedly (the ‘penis’ was created using the tail of the monkey being erected upwards from between its legs), making it swing elastically in all directions on top of where the private part of the lying monkey should have been… in front of a huge crowd of multinational audience!

I think for the rest of my life I’ll be able to remember clearly – amidst the stunned crowd, there was a shocked, seemingly Australian, young mother who was sitting behind me with her three small kids, gasping loudly in horror and covering her mouth as all three of her kids cried out in disgust before the so-unconventional scene in front of them.

Here’s a close up shot of the monkey’s dick swinging:

You can actually see the blur caused by the swinging…

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After the very unusual traditional performance, we next became victims of a special ‘scheme’ arranged (I believe) by the local tour guide and a local-products store to earn the millions and millions of Rupiah that we had brought to spend there!

The tour guide had told us that instead of bringing us to multiple shops to buy and shop for different local Balinese stuff as we had requested, he knew ‘this place’ that had ‘everything under one roof’ and that we didn’t need to waste time looking around!

Somehow, I could not shake the feeling that this was all commission-motivated.

We were brought to this warehouse-like store selling all types of local souvenirs and stuff, and our tour guide couldn’t stop telling us how he had got for us this special ‘just-for-our-group’ 50% discount and why we should buy stuff there etc etc…

Anyway, we did buy some stuff, and were next brought on a three-hour journey to Mt. Batur, which was an active volcano that had erupted multiple times in the last centrury, thus leaving a layer of black, dried lava on some parts of the island.

Of course, we only went around the mountain, not up the mountain itself; but the sight seen from where we were was really beautiful!

A very interesting thing took place at this restaurant where we had our lunch!

The interior of the place where we had lunch was a rather classy buffet restaurant with air-conditioning and everything, but outside the restaurant was a monstrous horde of local sellers, each holding a variety of items ranging from key chains to paintings to chess sets to Harley-Davidson motorcycle miniature models, all trying (very, very desperately) to sell to you!

The way they tried to sell to tourists was as though their next meal depended on the sale. It was as though, if you didn’t buy it, they wouldn’t have money even for dinner!

It was that crazy!

They persuaded and talked and kept pestering you wherever you walked to, and sometimes, begged you to buy their stuff…

… Literally – “Tolong… tolonglah beli… Berapa awak mau bayar…? Tolonglah…”

More interestingly, after you’ve gone into the restaurant and sat down comfortably (we sat at a window-side table), there was a number of these sellers stalking blatantly outside the window, each trying frantically to get your attention whenever you turned your head to their direction!

And if they somehow managed to get your attention, your lunch is half-ruined – these people would actually start an attempt to negotiate prices with you in sign language and refuse to leave for a very, very long time!

The prices that these sellers offer you can be marked-up anywhere from 200% to 1000% or way above.

After the lunch, we journeyed downhill and stopped by a plantation area where we were offered free, freshly-brewed coffee made from freshly-roasted coffee beans!

There was also the legendary Kopi Luwak for sale. A small packet of this most expensive coffee in the world, which makes around 2-3 cups, was sold for Rp120,000 (around RM40)!

If you’re wondering what’s the big deal about this Kopi Luwak, lemme tell ya – it is made from coffee beans harvested from the feces, that is to say – shit, of the Paradoxus Hermaphroditus – an animal that looks like a mongoose.

Apparently, this Luwak only eats the finest coffee berries it could find and after passing through its stomach, the undigested beans (taken from its pile of shit) has superb aroma and taste and is unparalleled by any other coffee bean in the world.

Some of us bought this shit.

Next, we were brought to a temple – forgot the name – and it was the first of the FIVE friggin’ temples that we were supposed to visit in this tour.

Needless to say, the temple trip was fairly uneventful, if not downright boring; but the ancient design and architecture of the place was really unique and would be rather interesting to people in the structural design field.

Here, I also realized that the Balinese Gods were totally fearsome and err… I guess very protective, because if I myself were a demon trying to harm the Balinese people, I would first have my shit scared out by the sight of any one of their Gods!

At night, we had dinner at a fine restaurant in a hotel.

The only thing weird about this hotel-prepared dinner was that we were served a dish of fancily decorated, but unmistakably identifiable… chicken rice.

And we were served only plain water, any other drinks ordered would be charged separately.

Ah… Forgot to mention – the money that we paid to the travel agency had all our meals included. So naturally, it would have been foolish to have expected lobsters and oysters…

After the dinner, we did some shopping, and had our first ever foot massage in Bali!

Most of us had female locals doing the foot massages for us, except for a few unlucky souls, like our good friend Sadra (the guy behind) was unfortunate enough to have a guy whom his colleagues claim is a pondan, touching and rubbing his hairy legs with massage oil… all he likes.

A 45-minute foot massage here cost us only Rp50,000 (around RM16)!

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Note: Haha, I didn’t expect this entry to be this long… Seems like we’ll need a part 3…

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