I’ve never been so frustrated with a doctor before.
I’ve always respected professionals, or at least people who act professionally. To me, doctors are some of the more ‘professional’ professionals, because the doctors that I’ve seen have never given me much bad impressions. It seemed to me that all doctors are well trained and almost always know what is best to do and say when it comes to their job.
A few days ago, very unfortunately, my nice impression of doctors was permanently destroyed.
I am suffering from transient insomnia. As of today, I have not slept for nine nights. Nope, this is no joke – I have not slept for nine straight nights!
All the sleep that I’ve been getting for the past nine days are small 1-2 hour naps that I accidentally doze off while doing something else, and the only ‘long sleep’ that I had was on the fifth day, in which my brain, perhaps couldn’t take it anymore, shut down for a considerable number of hours.
Apart from those, I have not slept at all. I did try, but failed in every single attempt.
For those who know me well, they’d know that this is no fresh news. In fact, this condition can be traced back to my Foundation year, which is more than two years ago. I’ve written about it before, only that the condition has been consistently worsening.
I’ve consulted several doctors on this problem and each of them gave me fair bits of advice. A Psychiatrist diagnosed my condition as anxiety, coupled with a mild case of depression. (is there? I dunno…
), but is so far trying to deal with the problem without relying too much on medication.
Since the effects of every treatment being done now is nothing dramatic, I have the habit of seeking out different doctors and talking to them about it, and see if they have any alternative opinions.
That day, I met Doctor D, who happens to be, like, the most pathetic doctor I’ve ever seen, please forgive my saying so.
Let me try to recall the dialogue: (This is not 100% accurate or complete, but it covers the ‘essential’ parts!)
**********
Me: “Hello, Doctor.”
Doctor D: “Hello, James, what seems to be the problem?”
Me : “Doctor, I think I have a sleeping problem, I couldn’t sleep for the past five days.”
Doctor D: “Oh, ya? (frowns in a sceptical way) Why you think you can’t sleep?”
Me : “I dunno, whenever I have to wake up the next morning, I’d keep thinking about it and won’t be able to fall asleep.”
Doctor D: (Stares silently at me)
Me : “Like, I’m having my final exams these few days, and they are mostly in the morning… So I think that’s part of the cause…”
Doctor D: “Do you think you didn’t sleep will affect you seriously in your exams?”
Me: “I don’t know, but for the exam I took yesterday, I felt really groggy and my brain was almost blank… Couldn’t have done too well, I think… So I guess, yeah, it does affect my exams…”
Doctor D: “So, tomorrow you have another paper? (I nodded) You plan to go for the exam?”
Me: (Thinking what kind of stupid question is this) “Err… This is the final exams, of course I’ll have to go, won’t I?”
Doctor D: “Uh-hm…” (Still smiling)
Me : “So, err, what do you think I should do?”
Doctor D: *Shrugs* “Nothing much (I nearly LOLed hearing this), I can give you some medicine to sleep…”
Me : “Yes, Doctor, that’s what the other doctor offered me. But I would really like to know if there’s anything else that I can do about this problem, other than taking sleeping pills…”
Doctor D: “Em… Try not to be so stressed la, try not to worry so much… (Duh, ‘best’ advice ever…) You having exam? No need to worry so much la, try not to take it so seriously la…” [Annoying point #1: Giving extremely unprofessional (and useless) advice]
Me : *swt* “But that’s my final exams, how can I, err, be not serious about it?”
Doctor D: “Just try don’t think about it all the time… don’t walk also think, go to bed also thinking what haven’t finish studying…”
Me : (Gives up) “So… other than trying not to worry too much, there’s really nothing much I can do about it by myself?“
Doctor D: “Ya ler… *shrugs again* we… general doctor… can’t give you much advice (WTF?!) If you want further, you have to see specialist, see Psychiatrist…”
Me : “Oh… Psychiatrist…” (pauses while I consider whether I should tell the doc I am already seeing one)
Doctor D: (Still looks at me with that stupid smile, as though she had caught me telling a lie or something)
Me : (Decides not to tell because she’d probably ask me to go see the specialist instead) “OK. So, err… this Psychiatrist, where can I find one around this area? Because, actually, I don’t really want to...”
Doctor D: “… See! I know, many people are like that…! (smiles in what she thinks is a very understanding way) Many people think if go see psychiatrist, you are crazy! They think must have serious mental problem only see psychiatrist! Actually no! Small problem you can also see specialist!” [Annoying point #2: Jumping to conclusions (Hey, I never thought that way, OK!)] (I was about to say “Because, actually, I don’t really want to see a Psychologist alone in KL, would prefer to see one back in my hometown where I can go with my parents…”)
Me: *stunned* “Er… OK… So, where can I find a Psychiatrist around here?”
Doctor D: “Putrajaya Hospital got… Other hospitals also I think got…”
Me: “What about Serdang Hospital?” (Nothing to ask, asked for fun)
Doctor D: “Serdang… I not sure la… But Putrajaya got la.”
Me: “Erm, apart from government hospitals, are there private ones around here?” (Another question asked just for the sake of asking)
Doctor D: “Private ah… I’m not sure la, but I know hospital got la.”
Me: “Do I need some kind of recommendation letter from another doctor to see a specialist in a government hospital?” (This question suddenly popped up in my mind)
Doctor D: “Yes, you need”
Me: “You can write one for me if I need it?”
Doctor D: “Yes, if you really need, I can.”
Me: “OK, so… If I need it I’ll come get it from you. Sometimes I just wonder what I can do about this problem, because it seems to be getting more and more serious and it’s starting to affect some other parts of my life…”
Doctor D: (suddenly and quite sarcastically) “Erm, James, do you know any friends who like to come see doctor before exams, and try to make their case sound very serious, and try to get fake MC to not take the exams?” [Damn Annoying point #3: Jumping to conclusions AGAIN! (Now this idiot thinks I'm here to get an MC to skip my exams! Grrr!]
Me: (Totally taken aback) “Huh? Err… yeah, I’ve heard that some people do that…”
Doctor D: “They’re usually… International students?”
Me: “I have no idea…”
Doctor D: “……” (Still looks at me with that stupid facial expression)
Me: (Getting very fed up, just wanted to get out of the place) “So, err, I think that’s all… doctor. Erm, are you going to give me any medicine?”
Doctor D: “I can give you some pills just for these few days, how many do you think you need”
Me: “Err… I think two or three pills would be enough” (I knew it is a controlled drug, and doctors usually won’t prescribe more than a few tablets.)
Doctor D: “OK, you know the dosage, right? Just take one tablet after dinner, and then you can go to sleep at around 10PM, then you can wake up at around 5AM…” (This loser really doesn’t know how us students’ time goes, sleeping at 10PM and waking up at 5AM is ridiculous 
Whatever!)(By the way, I think the instruction is not too accurate either, all other doctors have told me that that particular drug should be taken shortly before I go to bed, not after dinner, as it acts rather quickly and effectively puts you to sleep in 30-45 minutes.)
Me: “OK, I understand”
Doctor D: “And, make sure you follow the dosage ah, don’t take all at once ya!”
Me: “Huh? What?” *bewildered*
Doctor D: “Don’t take all at once, for fun or anything, like don’t take all 3 tablets at once ya!” [Annoying Point #4: This smartass was actually worrying that I would abuse the drug! Or maybe spike some girl's drink and rape her! What an insult to my personality!]
(I know this might be the doctor’s responsibility to warn me or something, but still, that’s what I thought and felt when I heard those words! Ish!)
Me: “Right… thank you, doctor.”
And I left.
**********
There you have it. It may not be word-to-word accurate, but I assure you that I did not intentionally add in or exaggerate any of the main points in the dialogue. (And yes, the doctor’s English was bad!)
I could tell that the doctor did not believe in my insomnia story entirely. I think this doctor probably thinks I am either faking my situation or exaggerating it – I could sense the doubt in the tone and body language. If you were there, you would understand!
Please, Doctor, if you can’t trust your patient, who the heck are you going to trust?
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