Santa Clause, probably the 2nd-top enduring figure for Christmas for many centuries (after Christ himself), is rather a downtrend in Malaysia.

image from kidswebindia.com

Since centuries ago, the original Santa:

• Was an old man,
• Had a long white beard,
• Wore a red coat with white fur,
• Well… was Fat,
• Was bespectacled,
• Wore white gloves,
• Wore a long red fabric hat with a white fur ball at the tip,
• Held a red sack of toys as gifts for children,
• Slid down chimneys to put toys in socks placed beside fireplaces,
• Had a sleigh pulled by reindeers,
• Manufactured toys at home with his wife and a group of Elves.

Well, the last three conditions may be harder for Malaysian Santas to imitate, I understand, but the rest should be followed as strict as possible.

All was fine until last night when I encountered a Malaysian Santa Clause, let’s evaluate:

• Obviously not an old man, old men seldom do the ‘v’ hand sign. (FAILED)
• Has a white beard, but personally I don’t think it’s long enough, but anyway… (PASSED)
• Has a red coat but no white fur trimmings. (FAILED)
• Fat… Emm… No idea… Let’s just pass this one. (PASSED)
• Bespectacled all right. (PASSED)
• Definitely no white gloves here, and since when does Santa wear sports watches? (FAILED)
• I love the santa hat! (PASSED)
• I don’t see no sack of toys.. Sobs…T_T (FAILED)
• Chimney? Bah… (NOT EVALUATED)
• Sleigh with reindeers? Nanti kena saman… (NOT EVALUATED)
• No wife, no elves, no house manufacturing toys… (NOT EVALUATED)

Our Santa Failed half of the conditions!

Not only does he lack some of the santa features, the Santa Boss is obviously not paying Santa well too!

A rather obvious hole on the hat of poor ole’ Santa! I wanna lodge a complaint!

Really, it’s time we started appreciating our Santas! They are the ones that contribute a lot to the non-religious Christmas atmosphere!

So how do you appreciate a Santa when you see one? Shake his hand, smile, laugh, and shriek with joy (feign it if you have to) when he comes, and don’t ever make fun of them unless you’re a small kid.

I really love Christmas and the atmosphere of it, but sometimes it really pains me to see how the Malaysian community celebrates Christmas. I’m not talking anymore about our poor Santa, I’m talking about the decorations, attitudes, parties, and the overall atmosphere of the Malaysian Christmas celebration. It’s just my opinion, though. Sigh…

Anyway, here’s what I secretly discovered later on the streets. Finally we can evaluate:

• Santa and his sleigh pulled by reindeers!

FAILED.

I suppose a motorcycle is a lot cheaper and easier to maintain compared to feeding and keeping reindeers in Malaysia.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Read Other Posts:

• Lovely London (P.1)
• Anonymous Hacking in Operation Malaysia
• Kukup The-Fishing-Village Island
• I am 21, fear me!
• So Many James Chow’s!!

Post a Comment